Ahriman's Deviations

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“n00bs” and “pros” in Counter-Strike

Posted on | August 18, 2008 | No Comments

Eeeeeverybody heard of Counter-Strike these days; giving the fact that the game is so cheap, needs very little resources and you don’t need to know how to wipe your ass in order to play it, almost everyone plays it… Of course, is not played only by retards… there are few people who play it for fun, for teamwork (a concept lost for most people) and, why not, for training purposes (I’ve heard that the Chinese army uses Counter-Strike for strategic training… I’m guessing that the dude who goes to plant site B when the general said A is shot on the spot… )!

Anyway… you are a regular person… a normal one, if we may guess (after few hours of Counter-strike that assumption might be wrong)… You bought the game, installed it and you join a server in order to play with other people (probably being frustrated that the bots kill you even at easy level!)… and then, after 30 seconds of playing, you slap yourself really hard on the face, trying to see if you are awake and if the people who are actually on the server at that moment are for real…

“looool!; fuck you!; _I_; n00b; but; retard; shit; fuck; d3v!l; cracker; porn; shitfuck;….”… and this is just the intelligible language (or so-called language)… “tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337′”… better, ha?

No matter how the fowl language continues, no matter how retarded the people seem (and, in all cases, are!), a very common word will pop on your bottom-left corner: “n00b” (or, with the dialects, “nub”, “noob”, “n00bish” etc.)

What is a “n00b”?

Well, in most cases, “people” (I’ve put people in quotes because, for some Counter-Strike players the terms “human” or “people” is a very far and stretched definition) refer with the term “n00b” to the players who don’t raise at their levels of “experts in virtual combat with even more virtual brains”… For them “n00b” is a definition who can be applied to a player who doesn’t cheat, doesn’t kill with a headshot any player he encounters, doesn’t know who the “big boys” from the server are and doesn’t defuse the bomb in time, no matter that he was shot during that because his “pro” team members were busy chasing frags instead of helping him…

That was the short example and definition… but, as the good fellas from the “Urban Dictionary” pointed, is a general mistake these days to apply the term “n00b” to any player no matter that he is generally stupid or too “cocky” or he just started playing the game 5 minutes ago!

Hey, you all so powerful “pros”! Take a minute and try to think… if you can think, that is said…

Did you ever tried to actually make the difference? Did you ever actually try to observe and, if possible, help the so-called “n00b”? Maybe the guy who couldn’t kill his opponent from the first shot never had the time to actually get to know all the weapons; maybe he doesn’t have the “quick reflexes” needed to fast switch the weapons accordingly to the combat situation; maybe he doesn’t have the latest and the most expensive gaming gear as you, because he is not a retard living on his parents back or actually had something better to do with his money; maybe the guy you call a “n00b” is actually someone twice your age, someone who actually HAS a life, someone who doesn’t waste 23 of the 24 hours in a day to stay in a chair, with a pair of loud headphones on his head, with the latest laser mouse from Logitech and drinking Red Bull all day long; maybe that guy is a normal and better human being that you’ll ever be, maybe that is a guy who tries to relax, to enjoy playing and interacting with others, maybe that is a guy whom, instead of labeling him, you might actually try and help! Oh, and more often than not, maybe that guy is the owner of the server you are playing on and he created that server so he can learn and have a nice time with his buddies! In the worst case, that is a “newbie”, stupid!

The real “n00bs” are actually the people calling the others “n00b”; they speak in jibberish (something like “loooooool; :))))); 4u, 1e23tuusa89alidwoa80 oa0wq9q0oisjp” a language only them and their no-brains understand… you know them… they speak like that in real life too!); are the people who believe that if they have a high score in Counter-Strike and belong to a clan filled with other stupids like them are some kind of Gods; they are people who believe the rules don’t apply to them and that they can do anything they want on the server; there are people who are stuck on playing with only one weapon and when they don’t have enough funds to buy that weapon start cursing everyone and especially the players who manage to kill them; a “n00b” is also someone who doesn’t know and also doesn’t want to learn how to play the game and keeps wrecking everybody’s game with his mindless actions and stupid comments…

I ‘ve seen a lot of players calling others “n00b”; more often than not, the reality is the other way around; those calling the others “n00bs” are considering themselves “pros” (a player who knows “everything” about the game – or so he believes – , usually plays only with awp, doesn’t help the team and is interested only in his high score and, more often than not, cheats!) and any new player is considered below his dignity to even be on the same server with! Hey, “pro”! Did you ever try to help that player? Did you ever try to observe them and see if he is a “newbie” who just needs a little guidance or is just someone as stupid as you but with no knowledge of the game?  If you are so great, why don’t you write a manual or a guide for improving the skill and let the other know about it, nicely? Oh, wait… I forgot! 23 of 24 hours playing Counter-Strike doesn’t equal with knowledge of grammar or even normal people activities, like reading and writing…

Nobody is perfect and, certainly, no one was born with the “skill” for Counter-Strike… but there are certain people who call theselves “pros” while they are just the perfect example for what a true “n00b” really is, while the “newbies” have a good laugh about their stupidity and choose the correct action to either leave the server or, my favorite, to make fun of the “pros” in a way they’ll never understand: using grammar!

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