Ahriman's Deviations

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A Brief Psychology of a Counter-Strike Cheater

Posted on | November 12, 2015 | No Comments

Hello! Welcome to the wonderful world of… your personality!

This article is written especially for the title subject, even though others might read it in order to get revenge on said subject, and I hope this short trip into the fascinating world of personality traits that are a little off the mark will prove to be an interesting one!

Enough psychobabble! What is the “dark secret” of a cheater mind?

Well… if we exclude the psychos – or full blown narcissistic personalities, present or future (I’m sorry, but 12 year old children that “love” to kill other people, even virtual ones – although there were enough cases where they transcended to real life – and also use hacks to get that “perfect” score and kill are psychos in the making; and not the good psychos, but really BAD ones), we are left with the histrionics, passive-aggressive and dependant personalities.

The interesting part is that all of the above, no matter the name or definition, stem from the same childhood development problem: attachment issues!

That’s right! You have mommy and daddy issues which you can’t get over it and which are influencing your life more than you know! We ALL have those problems, but the few classified as “sane” recognize and admit them, treat them with the “sane” attitude and, most important, know the difference between reality and fantasy and actually have a purpose in life!

And this is where you fall off the wagon; because all the things that make the “sane” be so are missing from your personality and life. You have too many broken parts that have no replacement and make you feel incomplete and this is what you substitute with gaming and, even worse, fake gaming (or whatever you want to call the use of cheats)!

Of course, all of this would not be possible or visible without the large help and push from an insane society that wishes you to be like that and doesn’t really give a fuck about you unless you cannot be exploited and someone can make a profit of you; in that case, it “cares” about you.

When it doesn’t care, which is most of the time, it fuels something else that grows large inside you: FEAR! And this is where it all gets clear, makes sense and circles back to the topic presented few paragraphs above: attachment.

There are many theories that explain this root or core issue, many others that try to understand it better, but in what concerns the types of personalities described above it comes to this: you are afraid to be alone, unrecognized, underachieving and ignored by those closest to you. Even though you don’t want to admit, even though you feel glad that your mother lets you alone while you play make-believe hero with your so-called friends and spend your parents money on virtual crap that won’t matter when the Internet will go down, at the end of the day and even during gaming, there will always be inside your head that little voice that will whisper “and what if they forget about you?”…

That voice is not the voice of long waited independence – because otherwise what the fuck are you still doing in your parents house, eating their food and consuming their current? – is the voice that reminds the histrionic he has to do something that stands out in the hope the others will recognize him, is the voice that tells the passive-aggressive that by getting as many kills as possible in the game he is really an important, big person, is the voice that tells the dependant that this is his world that will nourish him in case the others forget about him, this is what his life is attached to…

The histrionic… discovered that his mother will pay attention only if he accomplishes something extraordinary, only if he stands out in some way, some new-over-the-top extraordinary gesture or appearance… When that doesn’t happen, when all eyes are not on him, he dies, he shrivels, the dark shadow of fear of not being recognized as important surrounds him, crushes him and makes him run away from the image he sees in the mirror.

The passive-aggressive… could not stand up to his mother when she punished him; his father took his mother’s side, but also told him that he will be his own man when he grows up, when he’s going to be stronger and people will recognize him for his achievements. When he’s alone, he punches his pillow, he cries infuriated and smashes things, he takes his anger out on children smaller than him and runs off to a make-believe world where achieving a higher score by totally crushing his opponents makes him feel a “bigger man”.

The dependant… The saddest of them all… Offers his whole freedom just for a glimpse of attention; overprotected by his mother, which fulfilled his every wish, finds himself helpless when he’s alone and somehow searches for something that he can attach to… But, cannot take defeat, because it brings suffering… and when mommy’s not there to make the pain away, he needs something to replace it… And he cheats… This type of person can even be tricked into using cheats by others, because it will bring him a connection, he’ll feel like he belongs and that somebody cares about him. He becomes an addict of good results, an addict of the game that offers him the environment that doesn’t reject him…

Fear… no matter what the up-front image is, the fear of not being someone “important”, recognized, the fear of being rejected because you are not good at the game, the fear of not being able to express yourself, the desire to release as much pain and anger because you are afraid you are not man enough, that is what drives those people to cheat; they need to be somebody now, they need to be important to someone now, they need to be recognized now because, for those that actually think a little, there is another voice in their heads that tell them “Hey, loser! You know this isn’t real, right? You know you cannot do this all your life? You know this is nothing important, right? It has, by the way you act on it, no REAL role for society, right?”…

But it’s a game! It relaxes me… Yes… as long as it is JUST a game! But, for these people, it is not… For all those that feel the need to cheat in order to feel important, to fuel their rage and anger against the world, for those that need to cheat because they need to feel like they achieved something NOW, it is not just a game… Because the fear of nothingness is there…

Why do you think there were professional players that cheated? Because the fear caught up with them… Because one day they woke up, looked around and realized they are no longer on top of the world; they entered the fall of their career, they were demoted or about to be demoted from that top spot… And the fear said to them:”You need to be important! You need to feel that you achieved something! Because… what else is there for you, now?”… And… they cheat… because they need to stay in the game…

The same fear applies to smurfers also; those people that achieved a certain level of play, know they cannot achieve more, know there are a lot of others better than them at the game and so they start over, destroying other players in the process and the fear slowly disappears… They “are” important again! They are somebody! No matter what, people talk about them, some want to be them, their fake Universe accepts them again, the pain is no more and they feel again they belong…

What none of these people realizes is that the fear never goes away! The fear that made the success in the game become your drug is always there, on the back burner… And the fun fact is that this fear will continue to fuel all your insecurities in real life also, and in there it is no pause, no restart, no “admin” to make things better with the push of a button… What then?…

What will happen if, suddenly, all of this goes away? What will you do if you wake up one day and this whole virtual world will be just a blank computer screen that you’ll never be able to turn on because you’ve suddenly been denied access to electricity? How and to whom will you matter then?

For all you others out-there, that run into these people on servers, in LAN cafe or even in real life: yes, they might destroy you and your game and sometimes ruin in your fun but, remember, they are just scared little children that didn’t get enough love and adoration from their parents or confused the money thrown at them with love; don’t hate them… Feel compassionate about them, love them for the broken beings they are and try to help them become better humans. They needed more than you!

This article is just a small draft of a possible bigger story… Feel free to add to it in comments section as you see fit, comment, combat or dismantle it as you can… The fear will push you to the end… Just… give in… 🙂

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