The “Burden” of Na’Vi
Posted on | August 20, 2016 | 3 Comments
This is not a critical or downplaying article about the Na’Vi CS:GO team because… Why write something like that now?
This should be an encouragement article; this is about what is and what could be, but maybe on a bigger scale than any player on the Na’Vi CS:GO roster realizes.
The “Burden” of Na’Vi – in simplest terms and on top spot in everyone’s mind is – never winning a CS:GO major. Why’s that? Because they don’t seem to realize how much they are looked-up to and how many supporters they actually have! Or maybe that’s the actual cause?
Na’Vi are, at least recently, the most famous CIS team in CS:GO; not to downplay the merits of Gambit Gaming, Hellraisers or FlipSid3 but none of this teams: 1) Has S1mple currently playing for them; 2) Made so many top 4 at CS:GO LAN events as Na’Vi.
What is so interesting about this team? Well, on a very basic level, they are young, talented and not from the same country, making them an ideal representation of the former USSR sphere of influence and countries. They are, at least from my Romanian point of view, the closest thing ever Romania will have as a team in the top 10 of any CS:GO classification.
And why is this a burden?
Different countries mean different cultures and languages BUT, in the case of former USSR and CIS countries, not that big of an issue. Just a temporary discomfort easily to overcome, which leaves only the second underlying idea of the description to be discussed: the diversity which they represent in their minds, possibly, and in the view of the public and supporters.
I’ve watched most of their games because they have a very interesting style of innovation and courage and that feel of “Hulk mode” when they face clutches, in which you can almost feel a destructive rage emanating from that one player that clutches 1v3 or even 1v4 situations, bringing in mind the chaos that ensued the fall of the Communist bloc.
Despite that, in many of the games that kept them away from winning a title or reaching the final, I’ve often got the feeling from their body language (Thank you, individual player cameras and good production directors! All hail, PGL!) that the so called choke they experience comes from two stress factors: they even feel…alone and unsupported by enough people or, consciously or not, feel the hopes of too many regions and people on them and the fear of not disappointing so many makes them vulnerable.
There were situations (StarLadder LANs come to mind) when they were indeed undermined, if you will, by the lack of support from the spectators; various factors, from political unrest to bad weather can be blamed for that, but I feel that a lack of communication with on-line community and supporters is also to blame. Granted, very few of us speak Russian and there are sooo many Tweets of Na’Vi players (except S1mple, maybe, which still has some Liquid influence in that regard on him) in Russian compared with those in English which create a virtual barrier for supporters from other countries to interact with them. I guess the guilt can be distributed here, but what Na’Vi shouldn’t forget is: there as many supporters for you outside CIS as there are in your countries! Don’t let us hanging!
And that brings upon us the second part of the argument: YOU don’t need to feel responsible for disappointing any of us and you owe nothing to nobody! You’ve already represented the hopes and dreams of our little corner of Europe more than any single-country team from this parts can ever achieve! Let’s face it: you’re the best Eastern Europe has and that is enough for your supporters!
Way too often I’ve seen situations in which players cringed, faded away and made Silver errors, if you will, that seemed to derive from the fear of not disappointing other people, outside of the team, people that are not the ones that press on that mouse and keyboard. The only people you one can disappoint is only himself and Seized, Guardian, Edward, Flamie, Zeus, S1mple and Starix… You’re already legends! You’ve accomplished more than any other non-pro and most pro-players from this area will ever achieve so throw out from your mind the idea of “not living up to expectations” and re-start enjoying the game! S1mple does… why not follow that rule?
Jump, scream, rage, wave and sing, smash the desks with your fists (not you, Guardian!) and pass the stress unto us, the ones watching and supporting you… Giving the fact that we’re so many, we can carry the burden, leaving you being what your name says: Natus Vincere!
GL&HF!
Tags: 2016 > burden > counter-strike > Counter-Strike Global Offensive > Na'Vi CS:GO > Natus Vincere > players > psychology > supporters
NFL ProBowl needs to change… But how?
Posted on | February 7, 2016 | No Comments
I guess we can all agree that the recent NFL ProBowl was quite a displeasant embarassment; not that the last 10 editions or so were much different!
As an extrenal (way external, from Eastern Europe) viewer, I am glad I didn’t pay a ticket to see it and also that I didn’t waste any sleep over it. Because it was awful… and I saw it on replay!
The ProBowl is supposed to be about “the best of the best, Sir”, going at it and proving, in an all-star game, that they are really the best of the best in their respective positions and trades. But when – like so many distinguished media representatives put it – even flag-football is more physical than this, there is a problem.
Frankly, besides families and friends, no one wants to see it. Because the risk/reward report is way too high for the players, unless you count the money they get… Even then…
Is there anything it can be done to fi this game if, indeed, someone really wants to keep it and doesn’t want to get rid of it?
My ideas, for what little experience I have with the NFL, are as follow:
- Move it, like in NBA, in the middle of the season. No excuses like “we’re tired after that awful long season” anymore.
- Go back to AFC vs. NFC – let’s face it! It does offer some degree of pride this way and some meaning. Also, no STUPID, STUPID draft like Irvin vs Rice or anything… The players get their first, second or third string positions by counting the number of votes… To avoid fraud, some professionals should be involved, with their votes counting to, let’s say, 50% of the votes total.
- Make it mandatory! Something along the lines of “without a valid medical reason, absence from the ProBowl should result in a penalty of…”… Ok, this might be a little far-fetched but…
- Give it an impactful meaning!!! This will bring a little more “zaz” to it… For instance, the two ideas that come to mind, are:
- 1. The teams from the winning conference will get home-field advantage for the reminder of the season when playing teams from opposite conference – Now let’s see some real football! The idea of dealing some serious financial damage and gaining some more prestige and money should really appeal to the owners at first and, why not, to players… “Playing in front of the home crowd… So beautiful!” – we’ve all been to acting lessons. But it doesn raise the stakes a little, doesn’t it?
- The teams from the winning conference will get to execute the extra point and 2-point attempts kicks based on the old rules system. Giving the higner number of misses this season – not to mention some that maybe have prevented some teams from reaching or advancing in the play-offs – Hi, New England Patriots! – this rule might find some appeal in the players minds and give them an extra impulse to fight for that ProBowl honor…
I don’t know… Mybe something will change, maybe something will not and the ProBowl will even disappear because, let’s face it… For the public, for the ticket payers, for the viewers, it means NOTHING ANYMORE! Players gain an advantage in financial gains but, in the end, how about the many more millions out-there that actually pay, indirectly, those players?
Because, in the end, is not the league that made itself popular… The viewers and spectators did! Should keep that in mind…
Tags: 2016 > change > ideas > NFL > NFL needs to change the ProBowl format > NFL ProBowl > ProBowl
A Brief Psychology of a Counter-Strike Cheater
Posted on | November 12, 2015 | 1 Comment
Hello! Welcome to the wonderful world of… your personality!
This article is written especially for the title subject, even though others might read it in order to get revenge on said subject, and I hope this short trip into the fascinating world of personality traits that are a little off the mark will prove to be an interesting one!
Enough psychobabble! What is the “dark secret” of a cheater mind?
Well… if we exclude the psychos – or full blown narcissistic personalities, present or future (I’m sorry, but 12 year old children that “love” to kill other people, even virtual ones – although there were enough cases where they transcended to real life – and also use hacks to get that “perfect” score and kill are psychos in the making; and not the good psychos, but really BAD ones), we are left with the histrionics, passive-aggressive and dependant personalities.
The interesting part is that all of the above, no matter the name or definition, stem from the same childhood development problem: attachment issues!
That’s right! You have mommy and daddy issues which you can’t get over it and which are influencing your life more than you know! We ALL have those problems, but the few classified as “sane” recognize and admit them, treat them with the “sane” attitude and, most important, know the difference between reality and fantasy and actually have a purpose in life!
And this is where you fall off the wagon; because all the things that make the “sane” be so are missing from your personality and life. You have too many broken parts that have no replacement and make you feel incomplete and this is what you substitute with gaming and, even worse, fake gaming (or whatever you want to call the use of cheats)!
Of course, all of this would not be possible or visible without the large help and push from an insane society that wishes you to be like that and doesn’t really give a fuck about you unless you cannot be exploited and someone can make a profit of you; in that case, it “cares” about you.
When it doesn’t care, which is most of the time, it fuels something else that grows large inside you: FEAR! And this is where it all gets clear, makes sense and circles back to the topic presented few paragraphs above: attachment.
There are many theories that explain this root or core issue, many others that try to understand it better, but in what concerns the types of personalities described above it comes to this: you are afraid to be alone, unrecognized, underachieving and ignored by those closest to you. Even though you don’t want to admit, even though you feel glad that your mother lets you alone while you play make-believe hero with your so-called friends and spend your parents money on virtual crap that won’t matter when the Internet will go down, at the end of the day and even during gaming, there will always be inside your head that little voice that will whisper “and what if they forget about you?”…
That voice is not the voice of long waited independence – because otherwise what the fuck are you still doing in your parents house, eating their food and consuming their current? – is the voice that reminds the histrionic he has to do something that stands out in the hope the others will recognize him, is the voice that tells the passive-aggressive that by getting as many kills as possible in the game he is really an important, big person, is the voice that tells the dependant that this is his world that will nourish him in case the others forget about him, this is what his life is attached to…
The histrionic… discovered that his mother will pay attention only if he accomplishes something extraordinary, only if he stands out in some way, some new-over-the-top extraordinary gesture or appearance… When that doesn’t happen, when all eyes are not on him, he dies, he shrivels, the dark shadow of fear of not being recognized as important surrounds him, crushes him and makes him run away from the image he sees in the mirror.
The passive-aggressive… could not stand up to his mother when she punished him; his father took his mother’s side, but also told him that he will be his own man when he grows up, when he’s going to be stronger and people will recognize him for his achievements. When he’s alone, he punches his pillow, he cries infuriated and smashes things, he takes his anger out on children smaller than him and runs off to a make-believe world where achieving a higher score by totally crushing his opponents makes him feel a “bigger man”.
The dependant… The saddest of them all… Offers his whole freedom just for a glimpse of attention; overprotected by his mother, which fulfilled his every wish, finds himself helpless when he’s alone and somehow searches for something that he can attach to… But, cannot take defeat, because it brings suffering… and when mommy’s not there to make the pain away, he needs something to replace it… And he cheats… This type of person can even be tricked into using cheats by others, because it will bring him a connection, he’ll feel like he belongs and that somebody cares about him. He becomes an addict of good results, an addict of the game that offers him the environment that doesn’t reject him…
Fear… no matter what the up-front image is, the fear of not being someone “important”, recognized, the fear of being rejected because you are not good at the game, the fear of not being able to express yourself, the desire to release as much pain and anger because you are afraid you are not man enough, that is what drives those people to cheat; they need to be somebody now, they need to be important to someone now, they need to be recognized now because, for those that actually think a little, there is another voice in their heads that tell them “Hey, loser! You know this isn’t real, right? You know you cannot do this all your life? You know this is nothing important, right? It has, by the way you act on it, no REAL role for society, right?”…
But it’s a game! It relaxes me… Yes… as long as it is JUST a game! But, for these people, it is not… For all those that feel the need to cheat in order to feel important, to fuel their rage and anger against the world, for those that need to cheat because they need to feel like they achieved something NOW, it is not just a game… Because the fear of nothingness is there…
Why do you think there were professional players that cheated? Because the fear caught up with them… Because one day they woke up, looked around and realized they are no longer on top of the world; they entered the fall of their career, they were demoted or about to be demoted from that top spot… And the fear said to them:”You need to be important! You need to feel that you achieved something! Because… what else is there for you, now?”… And… they cheat… because they need to stay in the game…
The same fear applies to smurfers also; those people that achieved a certain level of play, know they cannot achieve more, know there are a lot of others better than them at the game and so they start over, destroying other players in the process and the fear slowly disappears… They “are” important again! They are somebody! No matter what, people talk about them, some want to be them, their fake Universe accepts them again, the pain is no more and they feel again they belong…
What none of these people realizes is that the fear never goes away! The fear that made the success in the game become your drug is always there, on the back burner… And the fun fact is that this fear will continue to fuel all your insecurities in real life also, and in there it is no pause, no restart, no “admin” to make things better with the push of a button… What then?…
What will happen if, suddenly, all of this goes away? What will you do if you wake up one day and this whole virtual world will be just a blank computer screen that you’ll never be able to turn on because you’ve suddenly been denied access to electricity? How and to whom will you matter then?
For all you others out-there, that run into these people on servers, in LAN cafe or even in real life: yes, they might destroy you and your game and sometimes ruin in your fun but, remember, they are just scared little children that didn’t get enough love and adoration from their parents or confused the money thrown at them with love; don’t hate them… Feel compassionate about them, love them for the broken beings they are and try to help them become better humans. They needed more than you!
This article is just a small draft of a possible bigger story… Feel free to add to it in comments section as you see fit, comment, combat or dismantle it as you can… The fear will push you to the end… Just… give in… 🙂
Tags: addiction > cheater > counter-strike > Counter-Strike cheat > CS:GO > CS:GO cheat > cs:go cheater > illusion > psychology
Updates on…
Posted on | April 16, 2014 | No Comments
… this idiot: http://ahriman.eu/?p=189
His new car and car number are as follows:
BMW (don’t know the model but is a dark blue-gray piece of crap as you can see in the next image) CT 21 KZM
The one true feeling…
Posted on | August 3, 2013 | 1 Comment
… that really matters in this life, is hatred!
Why, you ask?
We are born from love and in love. Be it the love of our divine ancestors, our God or Gods, the love of our parents or even the love of the Universe, it is everywhere and always present! We live in it, it is considered to be the only feeling that can create and animate life.
It is a beautiful feeling. And it is too easy… It is easy to love, it is easy to even make love, it is easy to give love all around, without expecting it back, it is that damn easy!
I talk about true love, the pure and basic feeling, not about obsession and illusions, psychopathy and stupidity!
Now… hate or hatred! That is a feeling that you work really hard on it! True hatred, the one you construct over time, the one you work hard on getting inside you heart, as a true commandment, that feeling that doesn’t make you see red in front of your eyes, but to be able to really feel and appreciate life and sense the persons around them!
Hate doesn’t come easily… Noooo, you have to earn it, to put it together piece by piece, to work on it!
It starts like a strange pinch… but then something happens… All that love, that basic and natural feeling starts to change somehow… You start to find it strange to feel love as a driving force behind your every move and as a reason to live. You start looking at certain persons and to feel a much stronger emotion towards them… something even stronger than love. Something that makes you look more carefully at what is drawing you closer and closer to a certain person, place, animal or situation…
We are hardwired to love… but God is a funny guy. He’d given us freedom of choice. And it takes a real effort to change all that fundamental programming to turn that love into hate and, more than that, really appreciate it!
It takes a real effort to look back and start seeing the changes… start seeing the lies, the betrayals, the attitudes, the lack of candor, the feeling of being left alone in the storm by all around you after you’ve given them that love you were supposed to give without expecting nothing in return and still coming out empty. It takes a real effort to stop yourself from crying every night, to start fighting all those who oppose you, to look at the face of God and say “Hey, fucker! What if I’ll never surrender?”
It takes real effort and commitment to start fighting fate. Love will guide you unconditionally towards your destiny. Hatred will really drive you to fight the fate that might stand in the way of your destiny! Because hatred is necessary to face life’s adversities when the love that brought you here, in this world, and fueled you while you were protected by those around you is not enough anymore.
It takes effort to bring hate into your heart, logical, strong and pure hatred and, most of all, keep it there! “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names!”. True saying but it has a little twist: only pure hatred will help you to never forget your enemies. Because if you give in to love, you’ll forget they are your enemies and be again hurt by them, a pawn in their schemes. We suffer because we love. And the more you love, the more you’ll suffer. And maybe you decide that life offered you enough sour grapes, no matter how much you love them, and want to taste something else.
But for that, you’ll have to turn to something else, that offers something a little bit different. And while you fight the suffering, with logic, desire and sane mind, you’ll have only one path that you can take: hate! Do not try to twist this around: you can put as many people, places, distances and time between you and your source of suffering, as long as you love, you’ll suffer.
Hatred is the only true feeling, because is the only feeling that we are NOT born to feel. You are not born to hate, you are born to love.
The funny thing is that most people believe that hatred is darkness, black, negative. That couldn’t be further from the truth!
I am not talking about anger, disgust, avoidance, distrust… I am talking about hatred! That feeling that drives your planning, that teaches you how to avoid enemies and in the same time keep a hand on them, that feeling that, when felt with all the body really makes you LIVE!
I am not talking about anger, being angry, being blinded by jealousy and acting irrationally… That is for stupid wankers like the one presented in my article about a psychopath. True hatred makes you see things so clearly that you cannot believe how simple they are!
Love wears purple glasses. It makes you vision and thoughts blurry… it makes you act irrationally sometimes. Hatred wears a magnifying glass and gives you instructions about how to use your brain.
Hatred really doesn’t come easily, because it is the only feeling opposed to our innate nature. But when you feel it, when you accept it and you really make it a part of your being, then you start feeling the true freedom. Because you made a choice. You used your given right to choose. And that is freedom!
You’ve fought against your very own nature and you’ve won. From now on, nothing can stop you, not even death. Because even in that final moment, with the last beat of the heart you’ll feel a special place inside, a special discharge of energy that you’ll take with you on the other side because you’ll know in that final breath that you made a true and conscience choice that love would never let you make: you’ve chosen the freedom of hatred!
You can hate everything and everybody around you. It’s true… true psychopaths do that. But you’ll also have to have the brains to do it. Stupid people cannot truly hate. They can only become angry.
You can hate your best friend, you wife, your mother, your teacher and your student, but for that you put real effort into it to fight the pure love that might get you hurt and bring suffering into your life. You have to make real effort to hide that hate and let a little love slip by, so that they still feel connected. Pure hatred will help you control all that.
You can hate all those around you, but isn’t that the one feeling that will make you push forward? Isn’t that the feeling that we’ll make you try to improve yourself to the maximum of your capacity? Think about it… When was the last time that you really felt empowered, really free to do anything you wanted and feel that you can really achieve all you wanted? Was it when you loved all life, all those around you or when you were driven by pure hate?
Lucifer fought and raised against God because of hatred… He fell and lost because he still felt love for God…
Tags: error > feelings > force > hate > hatred > innate > life > love > psychopathy > true feeling
Turning the page…
Posted on | July 31, 2013 | 1 Comment
… and starting to make changes…
Because it is time. It’s that simple…
I’ve arrived at a point in my life where I feel… complete, from one point of view, and totally without a purpose, from another perspective. And it’s all going on a roller-coaster that I can’t stop and it’s starting to get a little annoying.
Loosing control or, better, letting go is a thing that is necessary. What is not that ok is the fact of being forced into that when you are not ready. And, for me, it was an unpleasant feeling. In the mean time, I’ve discovered that, no matter how unpleasing, it was totally necessary. Why? To fill the last blank spots, to complete my journey and to walk on a new path. Because, like I said, I’ve reached the end of the road.
So soon? Why not?
The truth is that I feel like I’m done… I’ve done pretty much all I wanted to do in my life in order to make others happy, especially those around me, then try to prove myself that I can do all that I put my mind to and… I’ve done it. I look around and there is nothing much left for me here, around or in this life. Only to try stuff that is considered either illegal or immoral…
The bigger part of the decision is the part with the feelings and care… I am almost done with that too. As days pass by I feel the positive, the “good” feelings moving further and further and an intense hate and disgust accumulating more and more and building up to a rage that will explode soon, hopefully before my head or my heart explode because of the raised tension. One of the reasons for this rage can be found in my article about the psychopath… The other reasons are the sum of all that I tried to do and failed, of all that was asked of me to do and I did and then the repercussions hit me hard, hit me in my very core and the one I tried to become started to die.
I am turning myself into an older version of me where I just don’t care anymore. What was done and felt is still somewhere in my heart but, somehow, it is in the past. I look around sometimes and I am and feel alone, as I should be. As anyone should be… Because the moment you start helping, the moment you start to care, you get hurt. Big time! And I decided that the price is totally not worth it. So… the care part and the positive feelings part of my life is closed for business. From now on… hate and revenge is what I’ll put out.
Because it’s easier. Because only by doing that maybe you’ll force people’s decisions to start thinking, start taking their lives into their own hands and not screw you over and over again while you care and try to help them. It’s just not worth the waste of time.
What is still in my heart, what I still feel pumping the so-called life in my is still there and is going to be there forever. But there is just no more room. You didn’t get there in time, you will never get there from now on.
I just can’t suffer anymore. I am at peace knowing what I’ve done and what I have to do, without feeling scared of what is to come. Why? Because when the fear of death disappears and you have NOTHING TO LOOSE, well… You get the control of your own life and start fighting the fate.
Don’t get me wrong… You need my help? I’ll help you… But I will not give a fuck of what you do once you’re out of my immediate attention. You wanted my help and you did as I advised and it worked? Good for you and good-bye! You did something else? Well, fuck you, as long as you paid to get my advice, what the hell do I care? Yeap, no more free services! I’ve learned my lesson and wasted a lot of time giving away free advice to people who didn’t care to use that advice when it was useful and waited until it was too late.
What am I trying to say, after all?
That I don’t care what happens next. I try to close the unfinished business and to accept the failures I’ve had so far, but from now on is all just a fucking ride and just for the fun of it!
Somewhere, in the back of my mind, the clock is starting to wind down… Maybe a new cycle is preparing… in this life or in the next. All I know is that I just don’t care… I’ve done what I had to do and there is nothing much left to do… I’ve enjoyed and experienced life from all its angles and more than others much older and I have to say that there is nothing left to keep me on my toes or much more interested… I take things as they come, I go with the flow and I look forward to tomorrow with absolutely no interest… it’s just another day in nowhere.
New kid on the block… Sorry, in the palace!
Posted on | July 23, 2013 | No Comments
Or, just how plain stupid the people of England are!
Cheers, joy and even gifts for the newborn of the Royal Family. Which is pretty much the key element here… Royal Family!
This kid is blessed… He’s only few hours old and already the system provided him with servants and people to rule. All those paying attention and cheering for him forget one simple element: he’s there to rule over you! He’s there to be fed and raised by YOUR money, without him working a fucking day in his life!
You are cheering for the one who’s gonna be upfront, fed and taken care of, while your children will live, learn, work and die in misery and poverty.
He’s better than you just because of his blood-line… You are nothing!
It is funny how the system worked so perfectly in order to achieve this. People forgetting that it is their hard work and effort that will raise the one who, one day, will be their ruler, without actually earning that place. And I said ruler, not leader… Huge difference!
I wonder if someone from the Royal Family ever cheered or was there, paying attention to the birth of a child of somebody who was cheering for the newborn yesterday and today and so on… Did you ever see that? Wake the fuck up, people! Instead of cheering, think that you have another mouth to feed. And it’s much more expensive than the mouth of your own child…
Just… think for a moment. Then leave the party, turn off the TV, the radio and any other media and start living for you and for your family. Not for some made-up fake leader who will send your children to war and will look at you how you starve while he’s fed from your pockets…
Tags: child > England > fake > ignorance > newborn > royal family > stupidity > thinking
The kill…
Posted on | July 22, 2013 | 1 Comment
Today I killed a man.
It was necessary. It was the time…
He asked for it… at one point he even begged… So I had to do it. He had nothing left, he became useless and there was no point in letting him continue on the path he saw no end of…
It wasn’t that easy, but once I started it became… natural, almost pleasant. It was like I was supposed to do this all my life and, regarding him, a long time ago. Why did I let him continue for so long? Eh, it doesn’t matter now. It’s done.
As I watched him releasing his ultimate fears, I saw in his eyes all the reasons I had to do this… The failures, the despair, the hate for all that he became and, at the same time, the hate for all that he was and could never change. I knew why he wanted to die… His time was up. He fulfilled all that he was supposed to do, he tried his best to do what was asked of him and, as always, all that came back to haunt, hurt and make him realize that it was all for nothing.
Personal evolution? Give me a break! Helping others? And for free? Who came up with that nonsense? It’s just a big fucking waste of time! It’s not… normal. Like it is to care about others… Family… hm… it it something of a given obligation to care but, in certain situations, the rules don’t apply. Because it is everybody for himself. And that’s it!
At one point I saw him smile… Because by dying he was sure that he gave up all the things he worked so damn hard to achieve and, in this way, he kept his promise to gave up and stop trying if his plans failed.
And they failed big times, leaving him with only regrets and desolation. So, what was the point?
After a while, it all ended. He was gone… The hopes, the dreams, the laughter… All the damn light, all that “good” some talk about and for which he fought, all was gone.
There was only one other thing to do… As I looked at him for the last time, I took a deep breath and grinned as my fist smashed the mirror.
Good bye, old me! You were weak and worthless and people took advantage of you. Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again!
Join the darkness… It’s much more fun!
Tags: desolation > despair > evolution > hate > hope > kill > self > treason
My encounters with a psychopath… True story, still active!
Posted on | June 2, 2013 | 3 Comments
In order to better comprehend what I am about to tell you, you should check out first the “short manual” for identifying a psychopath that might cross your path, with the mention that all the benefits and recognition should ho to Dr. R. Hare, who created and adjusted this list, also known as Hare’s PCL – R List:
Hare’s Checklist
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example. >
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT — emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
14. IMPULSIVITY — the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
15. IRRESPONSIBILITY — repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
One of the themes for one of my dissertations in the psychology field is psychopathy. Life offered me the perfect example to how this so-called disease might appear outside the circle of serial-killers and gave me some clues on how to act or react to the challenges posed by the encounter with this sort of personality.
I have to mention, IN CAPITAL LETTERS, THAT I DESPISE TO MY VERY CORE THE PERSON I AM ABOUT TO TALK AND , IN ALL MEASUREMENTS, THIS PERSON’S IQ IS WAY LOWER THAN THE AVERAGE KNOWN AS “SMART”! AT THE VERY BEST, HE POSSESSES WHAT MIGHT BE KNOWN AS “STREET SMART”, BUT IN ANY IQ SCALE, HE’S MEDIOCRE AT BEST, EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO SAY STUPID!
You’ll see why in a jiffy.
Recently, I began teaching. Entered the “academic world” as a professor, because I believed at the time that was the right path for me. Still believing, but with doubts… Speaking to one of my classes of my qualifications, as a doctor and a psychologist, I was approached by one of my students with a problem concerning her brother on which she wanted some advice.
I spoke with her, I believe, two times, in which encounters I gave her some advice on what she might do and what sort of tests she might apply. This was during the course of seven days. At the end of the second week, while in class, my phones started to ring like crazy and, when I answered, an unknown male, sounding a little bit drunk, started using coarse language and threaten me with violence because, as he said, “I was talking with the students and smiling”.
Uokey! The very same day I called the police, made a statement then… came the next week, in which I was approached by the police and certain parties involved in the situation and clarified who, why and what happened.
After talking with the police, who knew about similar situations with the very same person who threatened me, one week later I got a call from the one who threatened me, saying it wasn’t him and that he apologizes for the problems that affected me (later on, in another encounter and in front of the police, he admitted it was indeed him the one who threatened me! – stupid!).
The person in discussion is named Cristea Valentin. He looks like this:
Any trained psychologist can see on his face that his brain waves are not functioning properly.
He drives this car:
I am posting this images as a public life insurance, because the guy threatened me, my family, my parents and my wife, my friends with physical violence and even criminal actions that might put us in the hospital or injure us in a way that might put him behind bars for attempted murder. Just to be clear about what kind of person we are talking about.
That was last year, in November.
This year, around the start of spring, the same student approached me with a personal problem and, after some consideration, I accepted her for brief sessions of psychological counseling, in order to create a better assessment of her psychological state and to decide what I could do further.
After few sessions, in one afternoon, my phones started ringing like crazy, while I was driving. Making few fast connections, I didn’t answer any of them (all came from unknown numbers, the guy’s specialty when he wanted to threaten someone). Then, text messages started coming in, in which this guy, pretending that he was my patient’s husband (a total delusion, because he is not and he never was her husband, and at that time he wasn’t even in a relationship with her – in his twisted mind, he believed all that he said to me to be true!) and started to threaten me again, saying he is gonna come and “talk with me” and that he is gonna create me problems at work and home.
I went straight to the police.
Four hours later, I get a call from my parents, in which my father informed me that this guy and a friend, approached them from the dark, in front of their house, with a threatening attitude, asking if they were my parents and that he was looking for me because, get this “I was fucking his wife!” (his words, not mine!).
Called the police and went to have a confrontation with this guy, face to face. Until I got there, my parents found out that he was watching their home for almost a month now!
Talked to the guy in front of Police, signed some declarations and we moved on. All I could find out in that discussion was that the guy was really deranged, he doesn’t distinguish reality from his own imagination, he harasses everybody he thinks might have a connection with his own-believed girlfriend, who wishes nothing more than to escape from him and that he would leave her alone for good and forever!
And we’ve come to the present… Short story… the guy tried few days ago to provoke a car accident and kill me in traffic and then wanted to start a fight in the middle of the street, right in front of the police station.
Yesterday, he tried to run me over with his car… me and a good friend of mine. Then, him and two gipsies who lived in the area and which I guessed he hired to threaten us, the lowest type of them, criminals with records, threatened me and my friend to cut us and kill us right on the street if they met us again. The Police arrived 15 minutes LATER, after the incident, even though we called them with 5 minutes before the attempted murder!
Who is this guy?
He is a low-life, stupid and criminal psychopath. He goes on social meeting sites to meet young women that he can seduce and then sleep with, FILMING the sexual encounters without their knowledge and then threatening to expose the films online if the women don’t do what he says.
He threatens and attacks anyone smaller on younger than him, man or woman, because only with those type of persons he finds courage. Anyone bigger and older than him can crush him like a bug and he runs with his tail between his legs from those confrontations.
He likes to beat up women, to abuse them physically and mentally, to take advantage of them and even to harass unknown young women on the street, just for his own sick pleasure.
His ex-wife ran away from him… his ex-girlfriend tries to escape him but because of the poor legislation here, is kind of difficult. He threatens to kill me, my family and my friends just because we try to help those abused by him to get away from him!
He doesn’t have a conscience… He doesn’t know what love is… he is a threat to society and all those around him. He uses his position at the local RATP agency to harass women in the public transportation vehicles and his colleagues cover for him!
He needs to be stopped and soon, before someone gets killed because he didn’t like the way you looked at him or his car!
Tags: attempted murder > B 03 WNI > crazy > criminal > Cristea Valentin > harassment > hartuire > idiot > insane > low-life > murder > nebun > Ploiesti > psihopat > psychopath > RATP > Romania > threatening
Congratulations to the system! Habemus… whatever…
Posted on | March 14, 2013 | No Comments
All the people gathered today in the Vatican Square are the perfect example to what’s wrong with the world! Kissing and hugging for a guy who doesn’t give a rat’s ass for those very people! Get a fucking life! DO something useful and stop wasting time waiting for your imaginary friend to help you through his imaginary representative who is useful sometimes only to give speeches from a balcony!
Congratulations, stupid people! The system worked perfectly on you, and you were reduced to just stupid drones waving flags for a guy you don’t know, who, for sure, doesn’t know or care about you and just became the leader of an organization that killed millions in the name of the same imaginary friend you think you have and that you think could help you do… what? Win more money? Get a better life? Convert all the non-believers and make them give more money to a society that used to sell God’s good will to criminals in order to have money for wars? Hmm…
Good job, system! You’ve proven yourself today!
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